Live-In Nanny for Unemployed Mom?

Reader’s Question:

My wife wants a nanny to help with the kids, but she does not have a job, so I don’t see why she needs help. She has asked for a full-time, live-in nanny and I won’t agree unless she is going back to work full-time. We don’t need the money, but if we have a nanny, she should do something, right?

Well, I must say – from the little information I have – I sort of agree.

If she isn’t working or volunteering outside the house, then why does she need a live-in Nanny? It would be my belief that if she isn’t working outside the home then her full-time job is the home, which also means your kiddos. I know many women who are full-time housewives and still have a maid, but generally, they care for their own children.

It takes all types to make the world go round.

I know men that hire a live-in nanny for their incapable wife so that better care for their children is available.

I have met women who have a live-in nanny because they love their children, but at the same time, can pay someone to do the raising and the dirty work. As they don’t feel obligated to do so. These women only participate in the fun activities.

I also know there are many women out there who are given daily tasks from their husband, plus family stuff, which is also a full-time job. And yes, I know women who work full time and raise kids, with and without husbands, and do it all alone…and they are awesome.

If you haven’t already, I suggest you have a calm and respectful talk with your wife about her request. Have you asked her why she wants a Nanny? Maybe she is going through something, maybe she is feeling overwhelmed. You should ask and work through it. You two are a team and it sounds like something is up, so it’s time to find out what that is.

Once you two are on the same page about the why, then perhaps you can come to a compromise about the situation.



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