I have never felt that we are meant to have monogamous relationships. I’m sure there are numerous reasons for my beliefs, but nonetheless, they are mine and I do not plan to change them. I’ve found a great woman that I have fallen in love with, but I will not get married. I can tell this is weighing on her. I love my life at home, but I also love and appreciate my life outside of our home. I am not sure how to go about the rest of our life at this point. We don’t openly talk about having affairs, but it is understood that I do and she could too, as long as it does not interfere with our home life. What do you advise?
I don’t see what the problem is? If both of you are in the “know,” then there should be nothing to discuss. Maybe this subject is not what is really bothering her. Maybe it is something else?
I think it is time to have a deep, honest talk about your relationship and expectations.
Perhaps you could explain to her what you have explained to me. Then ask her how she feels and how she would like the future to play out.
It will be a hard conversation, especially if she is on a different path.
If you love this woman, but are set in your old ways and refuse to change moving forward…I don’t see any other solution. It is the right thing to do. Lay it all out on the table so that you both have a chance to move forward in a way that works best for the relationship.
Over the years, I have learned that relationships come in all ages, shapes, and sizes. That we all want and need different things. While I do not agree with your type of relationship choices, I do respect that you own them, and are upfront and honest about them. It will save heartache and resentment in the long run with your significant others.