Stuck in the “Friend Zone”…Don’t be a Schmuck!

Reader’s Question:

 II find it sad that women say, “where are all the good guys at? ” but then they choose the assholes. And when they find that good guy, they either immediately “friend zone” him, or lead him on until the asshole comes along, and then they “friend zone/ big brother” them. How do we get them to give the good guys a fighting chance?

I find this sad, too!

First, not all women are like this. It sounds like you’ve been burnt a few times. I want to reassure you that there are great gals out there looking for guys just like you, and these gals would most likely never give “the assholes” a chance.

Second, have you ever considered that you are looking for the wrong type of ladies?

Meaning, the women you are looking at, who have these tendencies, aren’t the right ladies for you. They may be pretty, but looks are not everything, and they do fade with age.

More important things – e.g. kindness, chemistry, and personality – last a lifetime.

When it comes to finding your partner, are you being realistic? Are you looking for the “Stepford wife?” Sometimes when we want something really badly, our expectations can get a little out of hand. I just want to make sure what you are looking for is real and obtainable. If you believe it so, then it is time to try something new. Reach far out of your comfort zone and ask someone out that you never would.

Take charge. Be daring.

The other possibility is, maybe you are looking for the right type of ladies, in the wrong places? If you are meeting ladies at the local watering hole, chances are, most of your buddies have/will be picking those same ladies up as well.

Try online dating or doing something fun in your community to meet a new variety of women. Hit the gym – but DO NOT PICK UP ANYONE AT THE GYM- or a new bookstore, and give it a try.

Trying new things and going new places can really help to put a fresh perspective on your dating life.


I know you know when “it” is happening. Heck, even my 16-year-old son can tell when he is getting friend-zoned before it actually happens. I will assume that you too can tell “it’s” coming, so stop letting it happen!

If you like her, tell her, and be a man about it.

Show her you are here for the picking, but you won’t wait long. She isn’t the only catch and you too can find someone else.

I’m not saying play games. I’m saying don’t be the whipping boy.

If you want to be friends great, but if you don’t then she needs to know you have real feelings for her. If she feels differently then you are moving on. You’re a man on a mission to find the love you deserve.


 Those a-holes keep you up crying at night, treat you like you are beneath them, and they do it on purpose! It’s a manipulation game and they won’t stop until “we” stop falling for it. You are most likely passing the best guys up because honesty and respect aren’t intriguing enough for you.

Those a-holes might buy you things, lots of things, as they flaunt their money or their looks, but they are looking out for number one. While that may be you for a moment, it never lasts. Ask yourself…why do I like this guy if he is such an a-hole?

There, “nice guys,” I told them to stop it! Now go out and fight through that “friend zone.” Show these ladies that being with a good guy will make them happy in ways they never imagined!

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