Am I a Bad Mom?

Reader’s Question:

 My best friend and I are both pregnant! She has two other children and this will be my second. She is a natural mother and loves being pregnant. She never complains and I have never heard her raise her voice to either her children or her husband. She’s perfect. I scream and yell, cry and complain. I hate being pregnant and while I don’t mind the kids, I do count the days until they will be able to wipe their own butt. I’m tired and just so done with it all and she wakes up each day ready to take it head-on, with neat, well-behaved children attached to the hip. Why can’t I feel more like her? Am I a bad mom for wishing their time with me away?

I laughed as I read this for the second and third time. You are not alone. There are many women who experience the same feelings about pregnancy and parenting as you.

I have two children and I can honestly say that I hated almost every moment that I was pregnant. I cannot remember a moment in either pregnancy where I thought, WOW I AM FREAKING LOVING THIS!

Most women I talk to feel that same way. Pregnancy is not for everyone. It’s fine to not love it, but try to stay positive as it will be over soon and you can choose to never do it again.

Every parent I know is, or has been waiting for the day their children leave home to venture out on their own. Raising children is hard work and takes immense efforts. It’s hard for you. It’s hard for your husband. It’s hard for the children. It’s hard on your marriage.

It’s hard… so any reasonable person, from time to time… will daydream. I do this multiple times a day. Shoot, I took a break writing this just to daydream a bit! Imagine the day you finally get to do anything you want! The day with no chance of butt wiping, teething, soccer games, concerts, school lines, sick days, snow days, bad grades, periods, cell phones, social media, bullying… it’s endless.

The point is, what you feel is normal. Even when things are going “great” and seem “easy” and you still feel like you want them gone, that’s normal too! Being a parent is hard work and we struggle every single day.

Just breathe, this time will be over before you know it (ish).

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