She Hasn’t Changed Her Relationship Status… What the F*#&book!

Readers Question:

I have been dating my girlfriend for about a year and we have just moved in together. I know this sounds really stupid, but I cannot help but feel offended that she has yet to change her relationship status on Facebook.  She is on social media every day so it’s not like she doesn’t use it or have the time. So, how long should someone date before a status change and how can I bring this up?

First, congratulations on moving in together! Second, why do you feel offended? You have been dating for a year and now you live together… I’m guessing those “friends” on Facebook already know she is taken.

So, what is it? Do you think she is keeping her options open? Do you think she’s ashamed of your relationship?

I will assume she posts pictures of the two of you, with cutesy little captions. E.g. “Me and My Love Bug!” But, I hear you, none of that matters without those words, “In a Relationship with [your name],” right?

We all know a relationship is not real until it’s announced on social media. Right? Hmm.

My concern is with you and not her on this one. Relationships take effort, honest communication, and trust. If you can’t ask her something so simple, you are either scared of her answer or scared of confrontation in general. Now that you live together, confronting her with concerns is going to be important to stay happy. If you are worried about her answer, then there is a trust issue.

There aren’t a lot of things less attractive than a man without confidence in himself and his relationship. If you want something, ask for it. If you think something is up, ask. If her answer leads you to believe she is being nefarious, leave her.

Ignorance is not bliss when it comes to relationships.

Every relationship is different.  There are people who fall in love and get married in a month. Others date for seven years before they even consider a lifetime commitment. My point is, all relationships move at a different pace. Most people change their status when relationships become exclusive. So, in your case, it would be fine to assume that you can change your status and ask her to update hers as well.

If she asks why it matters, explain your feelings. She should understand. Like you said, it’s stupid, but it matters to you.

Good luck.

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