The Vasectomy Lie

Reader’s Question:

My girlfriend (28 years old) and I (47 years old) have been together for about three years. For the last two years, we have been trying to have a baby. She started getting fertility treatments and going to therapy after we weren’t successful, but the truth is… I lied to her. It started off as a white lie, but things got out of control and I was just too nervous to admit the truth. This week, I finally admitted to her we can’t get pregnant because I had a vasectomy right after my divorce. She was furious and broke-up with me. How do I make this right?

I’ve actually heard this story a few times before and it always makes me sick.

Why lie to someone you love? Lying breaks trust and without trust, there is no relationship. I mean NO CHANCE, NONE!

I understand you were scared but acting out of fear caused you to be needlessly cruel to the person closest to you in life. The initial lie (I.e. withholding the fact you are snipped) was awful to enough, but to have her go through therapy and fertility treatments is perversely selfish.

You are a “monster” for that! Shame on you. You don’t deserve her and should spend the rest of your life alone.

Do this gal a favor and stay as far away from her as possible. You were a coward.

Now that you know how I/we/people feel about what you did, I will answer your question.

The answer is, you can’t. What you did is a “deal-breaker.” Don’t get your vasectomy reversed hoping to win her back. Although, she may enjoy knowing that you went through physical pain for no reason, and who can blame her? The only advice I have for you is to be a better person moving forward.

Learn that honesty really is the best policy. Being truthful with the lady you “loved” would have saved you and her so much pain.

Good luck to her.

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