Prenups are sooo unfair…

 

Reader’s Question:

My fiancée and I have been dating for a few years and we are now engaged. When we first started dating, he gave me a heads-up. If we ever decided to get married, I would be required to sign a prenup agreement. I laughed it off at the time, but now it’s not so funny. He says that he can live his life more openly and securely if he knows he has this plan. I feel like it’s his plan for when he is done with me. I’m not marrying him for money, but I want us to take care of each other in various ways, including sharing resources. Do people use a prenup anymore? How do they go into a marriage knowing they are planning for a divorce? How do they get over the initial hurt and insult of a marriage contract?

Congratulations on getting engaged! Yes, of course, people still protect their life earnings before marrying someone that wasn’t there for the struggle.

45.2% of American adults are single, so finding someone you can spend the rest of your life with is an accomplishment!

I’ll admit, I’m pro- prenup. You should be too. There will certainly be protections for your financial well-being as well.

The fact is over 45.9% of marriages today end in divorce. Both parties should decide on protection while they still like one another, and that is the purpose of the prenup. Divorce often causes the most monstrous traits of a person to take over. While they may come to regret their behavior, a prenup will ensure no permanent damage is done.

A prenup doesn’t mean that you don’t share resources, so try and move on from that thought. It makes you sound quite “gold-diggy.”

You aren’t going to want to hear the truth, but the money he made before you, isn’t your money. Nor should you be entitled to it just because you get married. That’s his money. He earned it. You should respect what he has accomplished and not expect him to be okay with you clearly wanting the chance to take it.

If you were marrying a man that had no real wealth, this wouldn’t be an issue.

When you are married, his money is your money and as you stated, resources will be shared.

Not that you would admit this, but if you had the big bank account and not him, would you still hate prenups? Would you even be interested in him if you had more money?

I’m not saying sign whatever he puts in front of you!

Get a lawyer and do your best to secure what you think is fair via the prenup. Then, go plan an amazing wedding and enjoy those hard to find resources. Focus on having a happy and healthy marriage, then none of this matters.

I hope you try and be reasonable about this. If you are having a hard time finding a reason, re-read this blog.

Good luck!

 

 

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