Does Sex Equal Committment?

Reader’s Question:

 I’ve been dating this guy for a few months. We kept things casual, but we have sex, so I assumed we weren’t seeing other people. Over the last few weeks, he’s been acting differently. We talk in the morning and early afternoon, then he just disappears for the rest of the day. This is new behavior. Maybe I’m over thinking this, but it just seems weird. We have gone from constant communication to sporadic. Do you think something has changed? Am I allowed to care since we never made our relationship official?

I would feel and think the same way… boy, are we naive. Sexual relationships mean more to some than to others. You’ve heard of Tinder, right?

Sadly, just because you are sleeping together does not mean you are in a committed relationship.

Have you both acknowledged that you don’t want to see other people? If not (and it sounds like you haven’t), you are not in a committed relationship.

All relationships need an agreement. These are called “relationship agreements.”

There is one overriding fact here: you didn’t discuss your relationship, so you technically do not have one. We both know that is silly, of course.

With the advent of online dating (join Free), people date a lot and hook-up even more. He could easily be dating around and you can, too. The question is, do you want to?

Yes, the change in communication most likely has a meaning. It could be due to another gal, or it could be trouble at work. You need to ask him.

Talking to him would solve all your problems in one way or another.

Even if you keep the chat short and sweet, get on the same page about what you should both expect. This will create your “relationship agreement.”

First, discuss your relationship, then ask about the change in communication.

Do not sit and worry on this. “Worry is like a rocking chair, it gives you something to do, but doesn’t get you anywhere.” – Erma Bombeck

Just ask and save yourself the anxiety.

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